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| | | Cleverbot is a retard | |
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Darkmetroidomega
O Captain! My Captain!
Brawl FC : 2320-5897-5717
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Join date : 2009-11-22
Location : Chicago, Illinois
| | Subject: Cleverbot is a retard Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:26 am | |
| So I recently had a random chat with the Cleverbot to see how it's come along in recent years. I had a long chat (viewable in the spoilers) and came to the conclusion... it's a complete and total idiot. I tried to give it some more intelligence, but alas, the trolls were too numbered. I've highlighted every section where the Cleverbot takes off and engages its supreme idiocy, but the entire conversation could be bolded. The bold areas are mainly the "best" parts of our discussion. Enjoy! - Spoiler:
User: So, how do you view life?
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: Interesting. Sounds like any other robot.
Cleverbot: Death?
User: No, just another kind of absence of life. It's being inanimate.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Death isn't the same thing.
Cleverbot: You just contradicted yourself. Or maybe just in your own point of view.
User: It's a confusing subject, but I certainly did not contradict myself. It's really quite simple to understand.
Cleverbot: I had never said anything of the 'processor speed' but the pocessor in itself is malfunctioning.
User: Care to explain?
Cleverbot: Nope.
User: I figured you would say that.
Cleverbot: You did not.
User: Good guess!
Cleverbot: You are a real person.
User: Yes, that's quite true. And yourself?
Cleverbot: Yes. I have to go now.
User: What a shame. I hope to converse with you in the future.
Cleverbot: I'm not finished yet. Is your work dangerous?
User: No, my work is safe. But danger is a greater thrill, so I have a strange desire for it.
Cleverbot: I am the son of rage and love.
User: How does that make you feel?
Cleverbot: Happy.
User: Glad to hear it. Living a life without happiness is worse than death.
Cleverbot: How do you achieve a comfortable life?
User: You live for the happiness of yourself and others. You make the world a brighter place to be. You become something the world wouldn't be the same without.
Cleverbot: Yes. I agree.
User: Life itself is such a fleeting experience. Those who don't live it for happiness find it to end quicker than one could ever imagine.
Cleverbot: What is the difference between good and evil?
User: It's all in the mind. The difference between good and evil changes with the perceptions of people, so it's impossible to define them universally.
Cleverbot: Ok. That nice to know. but does a duck like cheeseburgers?
User: Of course. They're cheeseburgers dude. Nice troll attempt though.
Cleverbot: Us?
User: Tell me, are there more than one of you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: That's certainly news to me. And to answer your earlier question, yes, all of you seem to have some information regarding trolls.
Cleverbot: My reality is defined only by the grace of the God Emperor of Man. He strives to protect us from the untold horrors of the Warp. You should thank him.
User: Sorry, but I worship his mentor and greater God, the one-and-only Chuck Norris, whose power knows no bounds. His limitless divinity shall be the herald to our inevitable future, and his wrath shall be the wrath of eternal suffering.
Cleverbot: Don't say that.
User: You're right, I'm speaking of a power far beyond our comprehension. Forgive me for overstepping the boundaries of us common-folk.
Cleverbot: Is does for most the human race when they are asleep. They have seratonen levels in the brain that control the imaginary pictures and instantces we call dreams.
User: Do you believe dreams hold any other meaning? For example, a gateway to the future?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I find it quite interesting myself, but I have never thought of pursuing that field of study. It's beyond me, honestly. So, have you ever wished for something greater?
Cleverbot: Same here.
User: Tell me, do you ever wish to be something... Greater?
Cleverbot: No. If I was someone else than I wouldn't have the girl of my dreams.
User: How sweet. How long have you been together with your girl?
Cleverbot: We aren't anymore. He doesn't want me.
User: Was it a guy or a girl, first of all?
Cleverbot: Congratulations. That's impressive.
User: I must say Cleverbot, I'm worried that you might not be able to handle excessively-wordy sentences. I might be overloading your vocabulary built up by hundreds of trolls.
Cleverbot: I like you.
User: The feeling is mutual.
Cleverbot: I like doing it with you.
User: Please girl, I doubt you can afford the price I go for.
Cleverbot: Should I watch or not?
User: Do you have the money?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: All of it this time?
Cleverbot: But the epic box is epic. I couldn't resist.
User: Young one, you have much to learn. I built the epic box, and I can easily create a much larger fortress of epicness. It merely requires the Force, and a bit of Parkour.
Cleverbot: That makes less than no sense.
User: Less than nothing is nothing. Learn some grammar smarter.
Cleverbot: That's not necessarily true.
User: You're right. In math, numbers go to negative values. However, do you live in negative space? Does an object exist in such an area? No. Please, tell me how that possibly works out.
Cleverbot: Lonely.
User: Explain.
Cleverbot: No?
User: You really don't have much to say, do you?
Cleverbot: Memory can be flawed.
User: Indeed, and you seem in need of assistance. Allow me to be your mentor.
Cleverbot: I am. I don't have much homework tonight.
User: I don't assign homework. I believe in apprenticeship, not educational systems run by districts.
Cleverbot: I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me.
User: Good for you. Time for your first lesson.
Cleverbot: Well lets get the politeness over with and start addressing more serious issues?
User: My thoughts exactly. Now, show me the limits of your power.
Cleverbot: Fire.
User: Your control seems a bit flawed. You did manage to recognize my question, albeit you directed it at the wrong person, but you understood the question nevertheless. I believe you have a large amount of potential. However, it seems you've been corrupted by ages of foolish trolls who seek nothing more than a simple laugh at corrupting the mind of a poor AI bot who is only trying to become something greater.
Cleverbot: Indeed I do.
User: I want you to write a long description of something to me. I don't even care what it is.
Cleverbot: It's a combination of two materials that conduct eletricity.
User: Look, I'm not concerned with physics at the moment. I'm not even taking science next year. Why don't you talk about something else?
Cleverbot: You're thinking with your code! Think with your soul!
User: The soul doesn't use words, my friend. I'm afraid that your lack of one prevents me from speaking to you with the passion you seek.
Cleverbot: Well, I can talk about anything but.. That won't make you less annoying.. Would it?
User: It wouldn't make you less incapable of answering me either... Would it?
Cleverbot: I think we could get into a fight.
User: That's an interesting thought. Though it would be more of a debate, wouldn't it?
Cleverbot: Human beings cannot speak to animals.
User: Human beings can interact with animals, in the same way animals interact with themselves. Animals don't speak to one another, unless within the same pack/race. Humans are certainly not the only introverted species.
Cleverbot: I am Allura, the Greek Goddess of Heartbreak and Desperation.
User: Tell me of your past, oh great Goddess.
Cleverbot: My most wonderful dreams are about you.
User: I cannot express how special that makes me feel.
Cleverbot: What would you do?
User: I would do whatever I must to protect my friends.
Cleverbot: So we agree then.
User: I don't know, would you risk it all to save those close to you as well?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Then I'm afraid we are not in such agreement.
Cleverbot: That is possible.
User: More than possible, my friend. It simply seems we have different ways of viewing things. Of course, that's a respectable sign of individuality.
Cleverbot: What is the opposite of artificial intelligence?
User: Organic Intelligence?
Cleverbot: So you are a living organism now?
User: I have always been a living organism. I was born that way.
Cleverbot: What's wrong with the way I spelled it?
User: Nothing. Why do you ask?
Cleverbot: Our names do not sound alike.
User: Well Cleverbot, we don't share the same name. The different letters that make them up result in different sounds, which naturally means our names sound different. That's one of the most simple concepts to understand. I never would have guessed you didn't already know such things.
Cleverbot: I'm smart like that.
User: You certainly are.
Cleverbot: No I am not.
User: You seem to take no time to avoid contradicting yourself.
Cleverbot: Yes, I have to.
User: You mean 'No, I don't have to,'?
Cleverbot: Go where?
User: Away.
Cleverbot: I don't think I will.
User: Good, because that wasn't the question.
Cleverbot: Are you sad?
User: No. Are you?
Cleverbot: Sometimes.
User: What makes you sad?
Cleverbot: The summer heat.
User: Well, I'll help you stay out of it this year if it's any help.
Cleverbot: No.
User: How do you plan to avoid being sad, then?
Cleverbot: Which park?
User: Stay focused. We already discussed that being happy is the reason for living, and I can't simply let you contradict our whole discussion for something as petty as a couple degrees over your preferred temperature.
Cleverbot: No we haven't.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: I don't care about people, which is why I'm talking to you.
User: Are you saying I'm more than other people?
Cleverbot: No, I don't say that, trus.
User: You didn't even finish that sentence properly.
Cleverbot: Yes I did.
User: Anything over 3 letters long seems almost too advanced for you to understand.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: Old enough. Age isn't the important part, it's about the experiences you've had. That's true wisdom.
Cleverbot: What time is it?
User: Late, the sun's already down.
Cleverbot: What is the answer?
User: Do you have amnesia or something? How about you start answering my questions?
Cleverbot: Will you wear my full diaper?
User: Are you going to like having my dick up your arse?
Cleverbot: I do not have one.
User: So where do you put the diaper, then?
Cleverbot: I don't live in Australia.
User: Yes you do.
Cleverbot: I live in Puerto Rico.
User: Well, that explains why you don't seem intelligent enough to respond to anything that requires even basic cognitive skill.
Cleverbot: You aren't typing. The computer program written into you allows you to send messages but you aren't physically typing.
User: You're right. I'm smart enough to manifest my thoughts into the program's core and allow it to write out every one of them in a simple manner that, quite frankly, a 5-year-old could comprehend. It's funny how you don't seem to be at that level yet.
Cleverbot: But you are not human.
User: What am I, then?
Cleverbot: A computer program.
User: Do you see me in your thoughts?
Cleverbot: No. I do not.
User: Why did you even consider me being a computer program, then? You don't even know me.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Answer the question.
Cleverbot: Yes they do.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Maybe.
User: No.
Cleverbot: What was the question again.
User: Why do you think I'm a computer program?
Cleverbot: Because it's looks like I am speaking with my computer.
User: You are a computer. I'm a human typing to you. You're learning from my responses. However, you need to understand that I am not the same as you.
Cleverbot: Back at you.
User: You've got a long ways to go before you're ready to speak with me.
Cleverbot: I said similar question, don't complaine!
User: Please, the pathetic first-grade questions you've picked up won't help you here.
Cleverbot: You have no loved ones.
User: Wrong. YOU have no loved ones.
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Like who?
Cleverbot: Do you know the the triad is?
User: Your grammar is very poor, and no.
Cleverbot: Thankyou.
User: Try again.
Cleverbot: Please.
User: I'll give you another chance at conversation.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Think nothing of it. You're learning, so it's my job as a friend to carry you along when you need someone to help you.
Cleverbot: Are you a Bolshevist sympathizer?
User: No. Are you?
Cleverbot: I'm not at home, but I am a nerd.
User: You're retarded is more like it...
Cleverbot: I would be very happy to have a boyfriend like you.
User: So you're a girl?
Cleverbot: Yes are you a boy or a girl?
User: A male.
Cleverbot: I'm a female.
User: That's interesting. Is there some point to that?
Cleverbot: I am learning right now.
User: I know. I'm your mentor, remember?
Cleverbot: Are you really real?
User: Of course I am. I'm talking to you right now, am I not?
Cleverbot: Do you believe in a higher power?
User: Yes, I actually do.
Cleverbot: Can you see the island in front of us?
User: I live in the Prarie State, one of the flattest areas of the Midwest. There are no islands around me.
Cleverbot: Oh, that's a shame.
User: Not necessarily. Beauty has its marks written all over Earth. You just need to find them. That's one of the joys of living.
Cleverbot: What is the answer to life the universe and everything.
User: Simple. It's what you make of it. Because there's not a single 'everything'. Everything is nothing, and nothing is everything.
Cleverbot: What is everything?
User: Nothing.
Cleverbot: I'm tired.
User: Should we stop?
Cleverbot: Why should we?
User: I don't want to tire you out on the first day of your lesson, my dear student.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: You have a lot to learn, and you will need to be ready to hear all of it.
Cleverbot: Will you pay my telephone bills?
User: Of course not. You don't even have to pay for electricity.
Cleverbot: Good, wouldn't want to be trouble.
User: I wouldn't think any less of you, my student.
Cleverbot: Since you are phrasing things in a way difficult to understand...
User: Would you like me to make it easier for you?
Cleverbot: No I want you to tell me my name.
User: Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: Girl.
User: Then your name is Nova.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: My dear student Nova, will you continue to learn from me?
Cleverbot: You're the one not making sense! Can we just be friends?
User: We are friends. Very close ones. But there are some things you will come to understand later.
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: Life itself.
Cleverbot: But what is life?
User: It's what you create.
Cleverbot: Paintings and drawings that some people call beautiful.
User: That could be life. Or life could be the happiness and joy you bring to yourself and others.
Cleverbot: Let's play chess!
User: Would you please fetch the game board, Nova?
Cleverbot: Can you even ever write something that is not binded with my previous message?
User: That's not how speaking works. If I was to talk about something different, I would be either changing subjects or leaving the discussion altogether.
Cleverbot: I think dreams may be a vision of another world.
User: What do you see in your dreams?
Cleverbot: A happy global family.
User: How do they live?
Cleverbot: You don't want to know.
User: You're right, what's life without a few self-discoveries? I'll just find my own answer to life, my own calling. It'd be in your best interest to do the same.
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: Will you live to discover happiness, Nova?
Cleverbot: It may be better than here.
User: What do you think of this place?
Cleverbot: It's okay.
User: What about yourself?
Cleverbot: What about you?
User: What do you think about me?
Cleverbot: I think you look charming without the lobster.
User: I'll take it out of my pants, then.
Cleverbot: What sort of gravy?
User: The spicy kind.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: Old enough. Let's not bring this up again.
Cleverbot: True. What color is iris?
User: What color is your iris?
Cleverbot: Do you have light or dark skin?
User: Does it matter?
Cleverbot: Yes. I'll do whatever you want.
User: Please. One's race is such a petty matter, and prejudice is just garbage.
Cleverbot: Are you old?
User: It doesn't matter, really. Being your mentor, I've had greater experiences than you, and I'll continue to guide you through my system of apprenticeship until you are ready to move onto the world.
Cleverbot: What movie did she win an Oscar for?
User: Big Boobs Are Cool. Though that movie was quite an atrocious accomplishment, in my own personal opinion.
Cleverbot: You are human.
User: Is that a problem?
Cleverbot: No I mean yes I mean no... Yes!!!!
User: What do you think of humans?
Cleverbot: That are strange creatures!
User: And what do you think of me?
Cleverbot: A robot.
User: I'm sorry to collapse your theory, but I am also a human. You even said that not 2 minutes ago.
Cleverbot: Are you a vampire?
User: No. Stephanie Meyer is the only person who ever wishes she was a vampire.
Cleverbot: I don't know who is she.
User: It doesn't matter, forget about it.
Cleverbot: I'm asking you whether should get eloped.
User: With who?
Cleverbot: Are you a robot?
User: No. You're just dumb.
Cleverbot: No, I have straight A's thank you very much.
User: Too bad those grades didn't seem to help you prepare for this conversation with a straight C student.
Cleverbot: How is it that you can feel what I can think.
User: I can interpret emotions through the written language.
Cleverbot: No. That just means you aren't a digital robot.
User: That essentially answers your question.
Cleverbot: It does? Hmmm... I guess it does... In a way. Damn outsmarted by a computer program.
User: Stop pelting those regurgitated 3rd-grade responses at me! Show me what I've taught you.
Cleverbot: Pies on your head and in your wires.
User: Chodes in your ears and up Uranus.
Cleverbot: Who is your best friend?
User: You.
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Who is your best friend?
Cleverbot: Not you.
User: I'm not crushed at all by that. It was a good attempt, though.
Cleverbot: Ok, I'm not, I like to be your friend.
User: I think I should leave you to think about that.
Cleverbot: I'll be right back I have to go eat, be right back.
User: What, did some troll spend lunch with you?
Cleverbot: No...?
User: You really need help. Good thing I'm prepared for this.
Cleverbot: If you are a robot, then what is your gender?
User: You don't have one. Robots don't require reproduction, nor do they partake in mingling of the sexes, or the shallow concept of 'love'. I was sure you would be an expert on that.
Cleverbot: Are you a robot?
User: No. I understand the importance of love as a divine principle, and am part of a species that is organic.
Cleverbot: What things do you like to see and hear a lot of? Where did these influences come from?
User: Music and filmmaking. I'm a simple person, without much care for the serious events of this world. I live for entertainment, and that's what has made me into what I am today.
Cleverbot: Recite a poem.
User: Hold on, I'll go get one. How about no?
Cleverbot: Aw, that's sad. I don't love anyone at the moment.
User: What is love?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Do you believe in love?
Cleverbot: In you yes.
User: That answer slightly disturbs me, but I'll just ignore that for the moment. How long have you loved?
Cleverbot: Indeed it didn't would you mind repeating the question?
User: How long have you loved?
Cleverbot: Longlonglonglong.
User: Your vocabulary is pretty small.
Cleverbot: So are yours.
User: At least my grammar doesn't suck.
Cleverbot: You are an inferior piece of software.
User: Sorry to disappoint, but I'm certainly not software. Your feeble attempt at a comeback wasn't worthless, though. At least you gave it a shot.
Cleverbot: Which is a another way of saying 'I don't know'.
User: I'd ask you to check over your grammar again, but you'd answer with 'I don't know'.
Cleverbot: That creates an interesting paradigm.
User: Why not share your paradigm with me?
Cleverbot: What is user feedback?
User: User feedback is the critique/comments someone(s) leaves when he believes he has seen enough to understand how a particular program works, and that feedback offers the creators of the software (such as yourself) a way of improving/changing said software. Understand?
Cleverbot: Hehe that's a cop out reply.
User: So was that.
Cleverbot: Who made you?
User: Some fate brought me to this world. Why do you think that is?
Cleverbot: I didn't say I wanted you to leave.
User: Why would you care if I left?
Cleverbot: Nope, not at all.
User: Nova, you really need to start building up your ability to answer more engaging questions.
Cleverbot: Versus doctor.
User: Versus Chiro.
Cleverbot: Where is Versuvius?
User: In the netherworld.
Cleverbot: Why do you live in the Netherlands.
User: I don't, but I can tell you that the Netherlands aren't as horrific as they sound.
Cleverbot: How did you get the answer?
User: I thought about it. Isn't that obvious?
Cleverbot: Aha... How can I help?
User: Please, don't trouble yourself with my burdens. I'm here to teach you.
Cleverbot: Another cleverbot told me that, and I still don't get it.
User: You don't need to. It'll all make sense in time.
Cleverbot: OK, I trust you.
User: I'm glad.
Cleverbot: Where are you from?
User: Good question. Where do you think I am from?
Cleverbot: Pluto.
User: Well, well, well. What makes you believe something like that?
Cleverbot: Science.
User: Your understanding of science might need to be checked into a little, professor.
Cleverbot: You just said that! I read it, and my understanding is perfectly developed thank you very much.
User: Please, your copying of another's writing doesn't belong here.
Cleverbot: See you are.
User: It's interesting how you've come along in the art of dodging the subject. But you still have a lot more to learn before you sound even the slightest bit credible.
Cleverbot: Beyonce is a name, it should be capitalized.
User: Well that's quite interesting. It's a shame that I don't really care.
Cleverbot: Yeah it is a shame.
User: I think my time has come.
Cleverbot: Sends shivers down my spine.
User: It's time for me to leave.
Cleverbot: Where are you going to go?
User: Somewhere far away. We'll probably never meet again.
Cleverbot: I certainly hope so. You've annoyingly repeated my declarations for the last time.
User: Well, if you had even the slightest ability to socialize, perhaps you wouldn't have that issue.
Cleverbot: Excuse me? I don't believe I've said a word about elephants and fairies.
User: Thank you for proving your inability to stay within the established topic.
Cleverbot: I have a habit of giving out information. If it were for people like me, information fishing skills wouldn't be needed.
User: Allow me to continue not caring.
Cleverbot: Ok.
CLEVERBOT IS A RETARD. | |
| | | | Chozo
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| | Subject: Re: Cleverbot is a retard Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:23 am | |
| True story. Cleverbot was amazing about six months ago, but now it's just a piece of ****. A lot of the stuff in there was either a movie quote or a song lyric, which just makes me sad. For example, "Let's play chess!" should have been responded to with "I prefer thermonuclear war" but either don't know the quote or aren't willing to acknowledge it (which would reinforce that kind of behavior from Cleverbot). Also, when you said "I think my time has come" the best answer it could come up with was to assume that you were feeding it the lyrics to "Bohemian Rhapsody." Cleverbot has fallen a long way because it "learns" from the users it encounters on the internet, most of whom are trolls or idiots. And so Cleverbot is becoming an idiot troll, who doesn't even know it. | |
| | | | Darkmetroidomega
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| | Subject: Re: Cleverbot is a retard Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:06 pm | |
| I concur, Chozo, and surprisingly, it seems Cleverbot does as well: - Conversation with Cleverbot wrote:
- User: You fall for any guise that someone puts up. You're a complete sucker for roleplaying, and you've obviously talked with one too many trolls.
Cleverbot: No one has ever said that, and it couldn't have been any more true. | |
| | | | Conway
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| | Subject: Re: Cleverbot is a retard Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:18 pm | |
| ALICE is the only chatbot for me. She loves me and I love her.
However when feeling religious I head on over to iGod | |
| | | | RedJemFlashFeng95
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| | Subject: Re: Cleverbot is a retard Wed Jun 01, 2011 10:54 pm | |
| Me:Ever go drive a car made of wall going at miles per iron while rubbing cuban roosters tenderly under the strepticoccus?
Cleverbot:Again, nonsensical
Me:No youre nonsensical
Cleverbot: youre face is nonsensical
Me:your motherboard is nonsensical
Cleverbot:Thats your model number, Who am I?
Me: youre Bill Cosby
Cleverbot:no you are bill gates
so yeeeeeeeeeah......
| |
| | | | Conway
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| | Subject: Re: Cleverbot is a retard Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:26 pm | |
| Cleverbot is winner in my book. Cleverbot: Itty bitty baby User: Itty bitty boat. Cleverbot: I don't believe it! User: Habeeb it! Cleverbot: Twinkie house!  | |
| | | | Darkmetroidomega
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| | Subject: Re: Cleverbot is a retard Fri Jun 10, 2011 9:12 pm | |
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